Assertiveness. Ah, there are a lucky few who were graced with this quality at birth. However, for the vast majority of us whose pendulums only seem to swing to the extreme right (aggression) or the extreme left (passivity), it takes hard work to train our pendulums to stop anywhere near the middle. It also takes desire. Desire to want to be better. Better spouses. Better parents. Better friends.

Though the pendulum example paints a nice picture of where assertiveness lies, it's not entirely accurate. Assertiveness is not a "balance" of aggression and passivity. There is nothing innately good about either quality. Yet where both are weak, assertiveness is strong. Where passivity is naive, assertiveness is intentional. Where aggression is LOOKING for trouble, assertiveness is PREPARED for trouble.

There are three core benefits to living assertively.

1. Assertive people LIVE intentionally. Deep down, we all know what we want. But knowing what we want is useless if we don't act on it, as it is if we act on it at the expense of others. Being assertive empowers us to act to achieve our desires without simultaneously destroying our colleague's dream.

2. Assertive people LOVE intentionally. If you're assertive, or if you start training yourself to be, you will experience deeper love. You will love more strongly and tenderly...at the same time.

3. Assertive people LEAVE intentionally. Whether it's a dead-end job or an abusive relationship, the more assertive you are, the less likely you will be the one hanging around to lock up at night.

If your pendulum swings too far left or right, try to slow it down today. You, and everyone around you, will reap the benefits of what you sow.

Learn more about this author, Rex Wallace.
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