by Dana Toutloff

Created on: April 19, 2007   Last Updated: April 26, 2007

As long as the subject revolves around them, it's safe to say that the conversation will go well, or at least on. When communicating with one, be sure to nod your head a few times while they are going on and on about what ever it is you can't hear anymore for the sake of having lost interest ten minutes beforehand. If you nod, say, every 40 to 50 seconds (under a minute regardless) then they'll be sure to feel comfortable enough for the both of you.

Also, smile, but just a tad. If you smile too big, they will think you are inwardly laughing at them. If that happens, watch out! It will be hours and hours of fun filled reasons as to why no one gives a hoot about them. So smile, just the kind of smile that barely lifts the corners of your mouth. They'll then be able to conclude that you are as happy about visiting with them as you should be.

To keep the narcissists coming back, tell them during each pause of their two hour supposition that you have to go. This will give them the opportunity to decide for you that you don't since they are not nearly finished with telling you what you really would be better off knowing about them. Plus it will prove to them that they are even more interesting than they thought. You'd like to go, but simply can't break away, which is just as it should be. Then when the dark of night closes in and you really do have to go, they'll know you really never wanted to, or you would have the 18th time you tried to leave rather than the 51st. There was so much more for them to say about themselves so you'll definitely want them to pick up where they left off tomorrow, that's just logic.

If you really do have to leave long before the narcissist is finished informing you of their value try communicating it like this: Smile and nod as you slowly fade into the background, they won't notice if you move slowly. They won't because they never really knew you were there in the first place. It's only the sudden change in scenery that would alarm them if you stepped aside too quickly. That has something to do with peripheral vision. The fact is, they don't have any, only tunnel vision. So, if you stepped into where it should be it's as if you disappeared into thin air, which scares them, and then you'll have to listen to that.

If you choose to stick around and take the road of speaking to one past 'mmmhmm, right, yes, I see' then be ware. Though it is so that you can tell a narcissist many things, all of which he'll hear, he will still assimilate your words according to his preconceived idea of himself, so it won't do you the good that you hoped. For example, you can tell one that you can't stand him, he'll believe you, only he'll spend the next ten years explaining to you why it is that you don't. If you tell a narcissist that you like him, he'll believe you, only he'll spend the next ten years trying to prove you wrong in an effort to convince you and himself otherwise.

So, speak at your own risk, but know that speaking in its self is grounds for him to believe that you recognize the value of having interaction with him, as you should. And by the way, you don't have to like him to recognize it, which he knows, but that to him is irrelevant and his job not yours.

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