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I really don't know what the big issue is with smoking. My name is Melissa and I've been smoking since I was thirteen and I'm totally healthy. All of my friends smoke too because it's so cool. I don't think I even have a friend who doesn't smoke. They seem to like playing sports, eating out, shopping, and watching movies and stupid stuff like that instead.

I certainly don't have the energy to do all of that walking and running around. Sweating, turning red, and working your muscles until they're rock hard is totally bad for you. You have to shower all of the time. Smokers don't have to worry about how we smell because we always smell like smoke. I save so much money on perfume and deodorant and soap it's insane which is great because the cost of smokes saps me pretty dry most days. Plus, I have these cute little yellow marks all over my hands from the nicotine which is great because I'm a summer and the marks go great with my clothes.

Speaking of clothes, I've decided to go into fashion. I'm starting a new fad; I thought of it after a party one night when I kept dropping my cigarette on my pants. I'm calling it "butt jeans." I have lots of great ideas like that.

My friends and I just hang out and smoke. We have lots of fun seeing who can make the biggest smoke rings, who can shove the most cigarettes in their mouth at the same time, who can smoke a cigarette the fastest, and who can make the longest ash line at the end of a cigarette before it falls off. Smoking takes great skill to master and you have to learn how to hold it properly or you'll look like a complete idiot.

People claim that smoking causes cancer and a bunch of other health problems. Out of ten people I know who smoke, only one person has been diagnosed with a tumor on her lung, but Ashley's asthmatic and never breathed right to begin with. Plus, she started smoking way before me around the age of nine or ten. She used to steal her parent's smokes. Ashley probably got cancer from them puffing in her face all of the time; I heard second hand smoke is the real killer. Anyways, I'm fine. I just cough up yellow phlegm in the mornings sometimes, but it's probably nothing.

Smoking works wonders for my depression. I don't know why, but I haven't been thinking to clearly in school as if my head is in the clouds. As a result, my grades have gone down from B+ to C-. Smoking helps me relax, at least for awhile. As long as I keep it up, I feel fine. Crashing sucks though; I get all shaky, nervous, and agitated, and get the worst headaches ever. It's weird, my other friends seem to have gotten depressed since they started smoking. I think they're just not smoking enough.

Overall, I believe smoking to be one of the safest, if not best, things to do. It makes me look more mature, sexy, cool, and happier. Unlike AIDS or pregnancy which happens a lot in my age group, smoking has little to no effect on your body, appearance, mood, thinking, energy, activity level, or overall health. Just look at me!

Learn more about this author, Sherry Obenauer.
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