October 26th 2006 rocked me and my life will never be the same. I lost my grandmother. She was a vibrant, independent, strong woman. She was the only woman that I knew who could fuss you out and comfort you at the same time. She set a standard in our family and that is what made it so hard to let her go. I miss her in the physical but I feel her all the time in spirit.

"Life is a gift but death is a reward" You never understand that until you are in that situation and everything you wish you had done or sad comes at you like a tidal wave. She held on for days. She went into the hospital on Monday and died Thursday. She was trying to make her passing easy for us even though she had already answered the Lord's call. She was ready, she preached about all the time. She was tired of running the race and she had reached the finish line. She had no choice but to cross over. I understand that now, but it was not easy to grasp. She promised me she would never leave me. She said she would be here with and for me forever. I felt that she had lied to me, until I realized that she never said physically. She is here for me in memory, legacy, and spirit. I talk to her often and sometimes I feel like she is rocking me in her arms when I am unable to sleep or get settled. I feel she wipes my tears and calms my fears. I feel her presence all around me and my house. I reflect on her life because that is what I remember. She had to leave me. she could not stay here forever.... I get that, but I questioned why many times. Loosing her was hard but keeping her alive knowing she was in pain was much, much harder. I sang her song at her homegoing. She always loved to hear me sing. The name of the song was "Fare you well" but what came after that made it so much easier to accept "My soul is resting, I've got to find my soul a resting place".

Rest on Emma aka Muh, I hope you are as proud of me now as you were the day I was born. I love you and miss you so much.

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