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My mom started looking really smart when I was about 19 or 20. When I had my first child, she looked incredibly smart and far more patient than I had realized. She seemed to know and do an awful lot of stuff that I had never given her credit for. How had I been so oblivious?

I also realized how hard she worked and how hard of a time I had given her. I never knew that she felt such joy, or such pain, because of me until I had children of my own. When she said things like, "Grounding you hurts me too," I didn't believe her. I understood better the first time I had to give my child a time out. I cried. I knew she must have too, the first time she disciplined me.

There are so many things I learned about my mother, but my father was the real surprise. He was somewhat gruff, rough around the edges, and I later learned how hard his life had been. While we didn't have a lot growing up, I had never fully appreciated how hard he worked, how hard he struggled.

My dad had left school in sixth grade and couldn't read or write well. How could I know? He had his own small business that he started and ran on his own. It wasn't something that would ever earn him a lot of money, but it was his and he worked hard. Because of this, I had no idea that he could barely read or write.

I didn't know that when he went to night school, it wasn't for college credits or even a high school diploma. It was a certificate for graduating eight grade, which I found after he passed away.

I see the same "unknowing" of my childhood in my own children. I hope when my kids have children of their own that they have an awakening too, not so that they'll think I'm smart, or hard working, or anything else that would build me up in their eyes, but so they'll finally understand how much I truly love them.

Perhaps the best way to judge my parents is by what they taught me. There was so much but one lesson that I finally "got" was that I wouldn't really know what love was until I had kids of my own.

Learn more about this author, S. Mills.
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