The dating game can be fairly unnerving if you're shy. As a female it is probably easier for me than it would be for a shy man, since our culture tends to dictate that men pursue, and women either accept or reject. Still, for me to give advice on this topic is akin to a rock instructing a duck on how to swim. I have gleaned some excellent pointers over time on what not to do as a shy single, however.

Do not agree to go out with someone simply because they are pursuing you the way a rabid dieter pursues bacon. Being shy, you may have begun to despair of ever dating someone who interests you, but a strong personality is even harder to break up with than to say 'No' to. If you are not genuinely interested, be firm and strong and do not get involved.

Do not attempt to overcome your shyness in a phone-call. If you call the person who interests you and then freeze up, you'll likely end up just breathing rapidly into the end of the receiver. This will alarm the person you are interested in, and they may believe they are being stalked by a hyperventilating sex-pervert. If they star 69 the call, you may never leave your house again. Avoid this scenario at all costs.

Do not leave anonymous love notes for your crush. While some people might find these cryptic missives romantic, most people are likely to find them darn weird, particularly if the receiver is someone you have never spoken with before. Reign in that mad passion, shy Romeos, and go for a more direct and less dramatic form of contact.

Do not panic and attempt to ask the person out the first time you talk to them. Confidant, outgoing people can get away with this, (particularly at the gym) but the shy and sensitive spirit usually really likes someone before they'll think of going out on a date. To begin an interaction with a turn-down can be a crushing blow to the old ego.

So now that I've bequeathed you with this air-tight guide of avoidable faux pas, ideally you've managed to get friendly with the object of your affection, even finding the opportunity to suggest casually getting together with them sometime. Once you begin seeing someone, your shyness can be overcome by developing a comfort level with that person. The first couple of dates are a good time to have an activity central date because it's less likely that you will freeze up and sit miserably in awkward silence if you are engaged in active pursuits.

Movies don't require much interaction, but you might want to put off a movie till you're comfortable enough to hold hands in the dark and snuggle. Activities like bowling, miniature golf, the batting cages, an adventure outing with a group, or going to the zoo/aquarium are wonderful ideas to get to know your date better, and also to take the pressure off of yourself.

Good luck, and best wishes for some enchanted evening!

Learn more about this author, Alissa King.
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