by Gena Reddoch

Created on: April 17, 2007   Last Updated: May 06, 2007

It's a scary, wicked world we live in, and as a single woman, I never posted my picture on a dating website. I didn't feel safe putting my face out in cyberspace and announcing to anyone and everyone what community I resided in and that I was single and lived alone. I suspect that many women feel similarly.

Aside from the safety factor, it's rather naive to think that the photo posted is a true reflection of the person's current appearance. Given the fact that many people post unrealistically flattering photos or outdated photos, why would you trust that the person you are communicating with looks anything like the photo?

In my experience, it was prudent to correspond with someone via email for a while, then if we were both still interested, graduate to telephone conversations. Many potential dates were eliminated in these two steps, saving the time and awkwardness of meeting in person.

If, after several telephone conversations, we were both still interested, I would insist upon a photo, and would provide one to the other person.

The reasons for sending my photo were two-fold. First, I didn't have as many safety concerns sending my photo to an individual. Secondly, if the other person found me unattractive, I'd rather hear it via e-mail than be told in person, or by seeing a horrified look on their face when we finally met!

My reasons for insisting upon a photo from them were two-fold as well. One, I wanted to make sure they weren't horrifyingly ugly. (I always asked for a snap-shot photo taken within the past six months so that I knew it was neither a glamor shot nor terribly outdated.) The second reason was the most important. I always forwarded the photo to my best friend, in case I disappeared after the meeting. At least the police might have known who they were looking for!

Of course there is still the potential that you will be scammed, even with these safety measures in place. However, had I ever arrived at a meeting place and found that my "date" looked nothing like their photo, I would have ended the meeting immediately. I have no time or energy for dishonesty or games. I am delighted to say that never happened, and I am now living happily-ever-after with someone I met on-line!

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