by Billy Sunshine

Created on: April 17, 2007   Last Updated: May 10, 2007

Before I met my wonderful wife, I was the prototype Bitter Single Guy. I had been left broken-hearted by one too many cold-hearted snakes who wanted to chew me up and spit me out like a bad piece of man-meat. (How bitter does that sound?)

I was starting to feel like my life was one big, bad, and lonely country song, stuck on repeat. What, to me, was love, or at least strong attraction, was simple infatuation for them, or worse yet, a passing fancy; A fling. Or else, I would just get cheated on. In the most tame scenarios, the young lady and I would just realize that we didn't have much in common. At least no one stole my pickup truck or ol' hound dog, I guess.

What was my solution to all of this misery, you ask?

I decided to stop feeling like I had to constantly have a girlfriend; Instead, I focused on doing the things that I truly enjoyed, instead of hanging out in annoying bars, hoping to meet some fun girl. I just decided to be single, without the parent-instilled intention of long-term pairing that had occupied my mind since my enthusiastic hormones first started firing and controlling me like some awkward teenage android. To make a long story short, I was single for two years before I met my wife. Granted, I still flirted with girls, purely to make sure that I still had the skills, I just never went for it.

At the beginning of this same time in my life, I also made the conscious decision to base more of my friendships around people who had similar interests to my own. In my case, that meant music and art. I have found that those relationships are more rewarding than those based around who is funny when they're drunk.

This translates into romantic relationships as well; When you surround yourself with people who you have a lot in common with, your circle of friends is much more likely to introduce someone who is on your same wavelength. I met my (then future-)wife through a friend in Art School, and the relationship that we have has lasted an eternity compared to either of our previous relationships.

In conclusion, I suggest that you keep a positive attitude and realize that whatever happened to turn you into a Bitter Single Guy probably had as much to do with simple incompatibility and misconstrued crushes than any wicked intention on the part of the careless woman who broke your heart so wretchedly.

Also, if you project your anger towards "The One Who Broke Your Heart", it will likely make you seem profoundly unattractive to any potential future prospects, so keep that in mind.

With this kind of perky "glass-is-half-full" outlook, you can stop to regroup and reconsider the essential qualities that you desire in a partner. Once you start to focus on deeper feelings and interests than just simple attraction and flirtation, relationships become a lot easier to sustain.

It seems to have worked for me.

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