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My name is Czar Frederic Von Poundage, most recently of Scipio and this is my story:

I was out strolling about the western boundary one fair afternoon, when I observed my dear friend, Henry, apparently hurt. Henry was lying on the ground clutching his leg. I looked around for a servant, yet none were near. Disregarding my own safety, and despite my royal lineage and disdain for work; I approached to inquire as to how I might assist him. Then to my shock and dismay, he began to laugh as I was surrounded by his Deputies! I screamed at the top of my lungs "I'll get you Henry if it's the last thing I do!" as he ran off into the woods laughing. I was betrayed! That rotten, disloyal, animal! I felt a sharp prick, and I was unconscious.

I awoke in a cold, dimly lit room; my head swimming from the after affects of the drugs. Ralph, a filthy animal he was, approached, bowed, and welcomed me to my new home. In short order, Ralph, explained to me that I was in a holding facility for political prisoners and that Henry had taken over my kingdom. "My kingdom!" I thought, "That dreaded animal has taken possession of my castle and all my lands!" I thanked Ralph for the information. I spent that first day and several days after sulking in my cell, desiring no interaction with these other animals. I was royalty after all. After some time, I became lonely. I began wandering about the prison and making contacts. This is where the story gets interesting.

My daily routine began with breakfast, a mixture of fish and some other form of meat that was barely palatable. I was then allowed to enter the yard with the other animals. Never had I been forced to share the smallest item with another in all of my existence. Here, I found, was different: this was no place for royalty. Initially, the other detainees did not recognize me. I had even fought a few of them. It wasn't until Ralph spread the word that the other detainees recognized me for who I was. It was then that I decided to plot my escape, and I would need all the help that I could get. I would escape using whatever means necessary. After the four hours in the yard, it was back to that miserable cell for the remainder of the evening.

In my cell I would take appointments from the various other inmates. All seemed to want the same thing: land and gold in exchange for their services. One offered to design a prison guard outfit with a handcrafted weapon, while another offered to change my appearance, another even offered to sacrifice

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