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you the benefit of the doubt if you treat them politely.

Be genuine, and be honest. It's refreshing for a woman to encounter honesty and openness. If you're interested in friendship, say so. If you want a date, say so. If you're nervous, tell her. Don't try to slide in by being a friend, and then ask her out. She will usually be insulted by the false pretense.

You don't have to be rude to women, or a jerk, to get their attention and interest. Being intelligent enough to remain calm during heated debates is always a good trait. Listening well and responding respectfully are also helpful to any conversation.

Don't forget your boundaries. Women do, indeed, appreciate strength. We see that strength in the men who have firm boundaries and adhere to them. If you don't like bars, but will go anyway, we haven't "tamed" you. You've changed yourself to suit someone else.

Would you want to be involved with someone who did that?

Honesty and directness are helpful to you alone, too. Being honest and maintaining your boundaries will also make you able to trust yourself. Knowing that you are protected can greatly boost your confidence.

Women may fall for jerks for a moment. But they do not give these men their best. They use these types of men to stay out of "real" relationships, and to make their lives temporarily interesting. If you are interested in a woman like this, move on. She is not ready for anything meaningful.

Be casual and take your time. If you care for yourself well, and stick to your guns, your bitterness will fade. If you treat women as people you'd like to get to know, they will be interested in you.And if you're honest about your intentions, you will succeed more often than you'd think.

Learn more about this author, A.R. Marth.
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