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You don't have to change your reticent nature to be a success at dating. You can be shy and still enjoy the dating scene.

The best thing to do, to get started, is to know your strengths and weaknesses. If one-on-one is easier for you than party time, try to spend your time in quiet places, where the likelihood of being on the spot is less.

Bookstores, cafes, counters at restaurants, bicycle shops...anywhere you have an interest, you should spend time. If you are very shy, you are more likely to have success in the daytime.

At night, more people are out, more people are hunting a date, and most places you can go are noisy and crowded. Try to look your best in the daytime, and do your casual flirting then.

Casual? Flirting? I know, you're shy. So take it easy on yourself. Flirt casually. Flirt with people you do not want to date, that are brief encounters. Smile at the old woman on the bus. Tell a cashier her dress is pretty. Ask the man in front of you in line at the grocer where he got the great suit.

Keep it brief. Keep it light. Keep talking to people. You will have to talk to strangers.

When you are feeling comfortable, or you have just met someone you may like to date, don't panic.

Take a deep breath, and smile. Tell the person you are nervous. Tell them whatever you are thinking-but don't say anything to put yourself down.

Being nervous is human. Everyone can identify with it. Telling someone you are nervous gives them an opening, gives you something in common right from the start. Nervousness is a common human trait.

Once you've broken the ice, tell them you're shy. They may do the work for you!

If you want to ask someone out, inform them that you are shy, or nervous, first. Let them know you are not a slick hustler. Many people are very flattered to see that they are great enough that you're worried about what they think.

Dates for shy people should involve places that are easy to talk in, but not empty of distractions. A small coffeeshop is best for coffee dates, where you can see the people walking by. This gives you something to talk about if you are confused or at a loss.

Movies are good, too. But be sure to follow up any movie date with at least a little discussion.

Above all, when dating, do not think of the person next to you, or across from you, as the person you'll fall in love with, or the "one", or get worried about a relationship with them, or whether you'll have sex.

Dates should be a pleasant time, that you spend with an attractive person, finding out

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