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The birth of a new brother or sister can be a bewildering proposition for your older children to come to terms with.
The established child will suddenly be greeted by a new rival vying for the affections of mum and dad, and will go to drastic lengths to attempt to see off the threat.

In many cases the older child will be jealous of the new baby initially, and may try to harm it as a way of establishing a pecking order. By letting the new baby know that they have stepped into their territory, they can assume some power over the infant.

This behaviour is quite normal and is nothing to be alarmed about, you haven't got a would be' killer in your house; it's just a programmed animal response when establishing the ranking system of any group.

There are ways of reducing the jealousy and rivalry felt by the older child or children. I would advise adopting some strategies to ease the stresses that come hand in hand with any new baby.

From the outset of the pregnancy involve the child in the event. Let them go with you to the pre-natal scans and see the baby develop.
Hopefully this will help build some excitement with regards to the new arrival. The child will gain a sense of anticipation and will be eager to meet the unborn baby.
Keep the child abreast of how the baby is developing. Encourage them to touch the bump' and feel the baby kicking.

Another way in which to get your child involved is to ask them to help decorate the nursery. Let the child help pick out furniture or bedding as this will make them feel like they have contributed something once the baby is born.

When the time comes to have the baby don't just shunt the child off to your parents or child minder Try to make provisions for them to be present at the hospital in a waiting area with a family member.
When the baby is born, and all vital checks as to the health of the baby have been passed, bring in the child to meet his or her new brother or sister as soon as is possible.
You will have spent many months building up the anticipation of the birth. Don't delay their excitement a minute longer than you have to.

Problems usually begin to surface once you have left the hospital and have returned to the family home.
You will still be bonding with the new baby, and as you will already know from your first child, a new baby is very demanding work.
This is a critical point in building the relationship between the siblings. Encourage the older child to assist you in small tasks for the baby. Maybe let them help you feed the baby if being bottle fed, or assist in some way with bathing them.

As with all siblings, there will be tears and tantrums along the way.
I have always instilled in my own children that they have a very special connection and are lucky to have one another to play with.
Happy families are not just born that way. They take time to blossom into what they are. Share out your love equally among your children, and peace will reign once more in your home.

Learn more about this author, Neil Dixon.
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