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we did it first, then everyone else fell in line. Truth is, by the time they've caught up with some breakthrough we've pioneered for them, we're just too busy blazing exciting new trails, to even notice their mainstreamization of our technique. (Whatever.)

The charges of our being "so materialistic", is also simply passive/aggressive manifestation of pure envy. Fact is, we drive the best cars. Impeccably rust-free, vintage convertibles that would make a swing-dancing kid in Detroit cryroad-ravaging, sleek sports coups that would make a middle-aged stockbroker in Chicago want to produce an indie filmOdiously elongated limousines that would make a housewife in Kansas City secretly yearn to be a rapper's "ho"We know they want it.

I could get really steamed over how some people accuse us Angelenos of being shallow and spiritually empty, but I gave up that silly emotion as one of the 7 Uncool Feelings That Can Block Your Getting a Publishing Deal (required reading at my latest self-empowerment group, "Women Who Type Too Much"). Anyone who's ever wondered what it is they could possibly be missing in life knows this: If you're in search of yourself, chances are very good,: you are here. The greater Los Angeles area is the epicenter of esoteric spirituality. We've got more gurus, yogis, guides, masters, ministers, shamans, swamis, witches, oracles and self-proclaimed, enlightened elite than you people in New York have cab drivers. In fact, we've probably got some of your former cab drivers leading seminars here. And why not? It's a do-it-yourself town. You like yellow? We've got a Faith that favors that color. Prefer wearing white and n3ever shaving your facial hair? There is a Path for you, my child. If you don't find a church to your liking, you can always start your own(although it helps if you've written some Sci-fi and have a few celebrity followers). L.A. is a spiritual smorgasbord and it's all-u-can-eat.

Let's look at the whole "craziness" question. L.A. may appear to be the land of the loonies upon first glance, since we must have a higher percentage of those in therapy, support groups or self-help of some kind, than in any other major city in the world. However, does our sun-kissed lady nurture neurosis in her fertile palm-tree palms? Or is it just that She offers the most innovative and comprehensive methods for the world's many and sundry seekers of mental wellness? Got a problem? We've got the program.

Angelenos are also probably the most accepting, open-minded

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