by Cheryl O'Brien

Created on: April 13, 2007   Last Updated: January 08, 2008

How to Graduate from the College of Hard Knocks.

I have been told that I have a PhD from the College of Hard Knocks. Having experienced many of the toughest things a person can face I have learnt much about surviving the tough stuff and moving along. Much of what I have learnt can be applied without having to experience those same things.

When life throws curved balls your way learn to catch or duck! Catch the balls worth catching and duck the rest.

During my early teens I was institutionalised in a place that I did not belong. The 100 or so other residents there were all adults and all had serious problems. This particular institute used abuse and neglect of its residents as a standard management technique. I knew I did not belong there but because of my young age it took a while to work out how to extricate myself from the institution.

In the meantime I learnt a great deal about life and people. I learned how to really look at myself and how I present to the world and also to assess my values. Along the way I learnt the 12 Step Programm of Alcoholics Anonymous and discovered that one does not have to be an alcoholic to find the 12 steps useful. When I finally left the institute I took with me lots of information and useful concepts on coping with life.

In other words the curved balls worth keeping, I kept, and the other balls I let wizz by. I took what applied to me and left the rest.

When waves keep knocking you over, keep getting up, and if you dont want to be knocked over or you are sick of getting back up, get out of the ocean!

As a tiny tot our family lived on a farm near the beach so we had the very best of both worlds. The lovely freedom that farm kids everyhere celebrate daily and the close proximity to the lovely energies of the ocean. The occasional day out on the beach was always pleasant and involved having a picnic and lots of sand castles and splashing in the water.

During one of these days out on the beach when I was four years old I stood chest deep in water and got knocked over time and time again by the waves. Twice my brother had reached down into the water and grabbed my drifting body and dragged me back to shallow water. Again I followed my older siblings out into the deeper water and was knocked over by a wave. This time I went under the water for what felt like a very long time and could not tell which way was up under the pounding waves. I was thrashing around and began to panic. Eventually my brother found me and this time could only grasp

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