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oblige. Unless you are deeply religious, you do not have to marry or get involved with every man you have sex with. Some may be perfect in bed, but not the type you'd like in a relationship. Don't let this make you bitter!

These men are in your life to tide you over. Don't look at men you have just met as potential mates. They are not. They are men you have just met. Speak to them as you would to any stranger. Your bitterness does not make you appear to be a good mate, either. Most men will not behave well when judged by someone who is imperfect. Be aware of your own demeanor.

View these men, even those you may be interested in, as human beings. They are not here on earth to be your future husband. They have been alive for years before they met you. Give them room to breathe and show you who they are.

They may not be here to marry you, ride in on a white horse and make your Fabio daydreams come true. Take the men you meet at face value, and don't look for "the one".

Some men are excellent friends and companions, no more. Do not lead them on. You can welcome men into your life as slowly as you need to. Don't become close with men who don't respect you or your boundaries. Be honest about your intentions.

If you are interested in a relationship, you will fail. The word "relationship" implies that there is another person involved. Wait to seek one. Wait until you are involved with someone who is worthy of your time; don't try to fill the slot with just anyone.

It's good when you're single to think about what on earth could ever make you give it up. Lay your ground rules now. If you're notorious for giving in to men, or have a hard time with attachment or with saying no, write them down. Refer to this line in the sand when in doubt about a man you've met.

You should be enjoying your freedom enough to make these requirements high. Make no large exceptions! Stick to your guns. You know what you want, and you're doing fine without it. If you're bitter, you'll just be glad someone sees past it to like you despite your bad attitude, and you will become drawn to men with problems and issues. Keep your life clean of this nonsense, and make your list. Set your boundaries, and build an electric fence where they stand.

This will give you some security. You'll grow to trust yourself, and your taste in men. This will also make you less bitter. Enforcing your boundaries s healthy and honest. Protecting yourself makes it obvious that it's only some individual men that are the problem, not all of them. This helps with the bitterness too.

All the things you will now know about your own tastes, all the time you have spent enjoying your own company, and all the fun you have on your own make it less likely that you will settle for someone who is wrong for you.

Knowing that you enjoyed your freedom will also make you less likely to sabotage your new relationship. We all need some time alone in our lives. If you have not gotten enough out of your time single, you will not be able to make a relationship last.

Knowing yourself, enjoying your freedom, and being single and NOT bitter are goals. Meeting someone, having a relationship, and falling in love are possibilities that only exist when you've met those goals.

Learn more about this author, A.R. Marth.
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