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Using rewards to motive a child's behaviour is a positive step in terms of parenting. Having children that range in age from 6 months to 15 years, I can testify that this is one of the best methods I have employed to keep order in the household.

As different children have different personalities, I have found that there is a positive outcome when utilising reward motivations. Everything in our house that is pretty much electrically powered fun' is a privilege. Computers, gaming consoles, television, as well as battery operated toy cars, etc.

Simply put, I have found it far easier to get positive results in behaviour and attitude since beginning this technique with my eldest child when he was around five years of age. With a 12 year age gap between him and our next son, we were glad for the experience and it wasn't difficult to have the younger learning from this at a younger age. With the babies, we will be certain to continue to the tradition.

Children need boundaries and structure. We schedule different activities, so that everyone gets private time and family time. We found that sitting down with our eldest son and discussing what we expect from him and what he would expect from us seems to have been a far more positive step than just making up a list of rules to follow.

In this way, the child is realising that negotiation, goals and working all go hand in hand and it is a way for them to learn about how the real world works. We asked him what kinds of chores he would think would be fair and make a list of ten chores in order of which ones he would prefer to do and which ones he could live with doing. We then asked him how much pocket money he thought he should have per week. After that, we asked how much time he would be happy with for television, computer or gaming console time.

We then scheduled his four favourite chores, (like there is any such thing), and the one he hated the most. This way, he learns that you don't always get what you want. Next, we allocated him the pocket money he wants, but we split it into 3 separate amounts. 1/3 for spending, 1/3 for saving, and 1/3 for "tax"; this gets him ready for the real world, where usually at least a third of your wages go to the taxman.

At the end of the financial year, we split the "tax" into two and he can spend half of it and the other half goes into his savings. We have found that not only does this reward system work well, but through negotiation with him, he is happy to engage in chores.

Bad behaviour, (which can be anything from back-chatting to forgetting chores or arguing), is penalised by a reduction in privilege time, 15 minutes for every offence. When you only give them a total of 3 hours computer time all weekend, they learn very quickly to keep quiet and to use their manners.

Extra good behaviour, (doing extra chores without being asked, using exemplary manners, playing well with the other kids), is rewarded with increased privilege time or extra pocket money. We are already starting to employ this technique with our 3 year old son, since it works so well on the elder one.

In all honesty, we have to remember that out in the real world many jobs nowadays require workers to reach performance targets and goals, as well as being given productivity bonuses. By teaching our children that good behaviour can earn better rewards and that bad behaviour can have a negative outcome, they will be more prepared as adults when they leave the comfort of the nest.

Learn more about this author, Jaisen Mahne.
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