by Marcia Smith

Created on: April 12, 2007   Last Updated: September 19, 2008

I would suggest that everything that has been said concerning the subject is more than likely valid at some points and would work with normal children. However, after having tried all methods the only one I haven't tried yet is cutting off the offending member!

Given that the child is between the ripe old age of 13 and 14 years old and lives a stable life it is hard for me to see that any of those suggestions would work no matter how long I tried especially if the child is also OPD (that is Oppositional Defiant Disorder for those that do not know).

A child of this age that has OPD does not generally suck their thumb to sooth themselves, but out of habit. What has occured is that the child discovered that the behavior got under the skin of those around them (especially parents) and did it so frequently that it truly became a habit. As we all know old habits are the hardest to break.

Now, with jutting teeth and severe overbite, the child still fails to be able to break the habit. With constant gentle reminders from caring family members, the child will still seek to suck that thumb while obviously undercover of a blanket. The child does not suck her thumb at school or around her friends.

I guess the most important aspect of being able to deal with the habit is understanding where it came from.

In our case the child came to us 6 years ago from her mother. She had been badly spoiled because her mother took her everywhere with her but had undergone a recent bad experience in that a new baby sister had been born and she was no longer the spoiled baby. The child had a fit even resorting to having to have a baby bottle at school (this is the first grade mind you). She hated her baby sister and wanted her dead. When we got her, she was again the youngest child in the home but instead of being happy with that she began to make serious attempts to get rid of the two older kids. We have had many trials and tribulations with this child and it's not over yet. She has been diagnosed with OPD as well and it shows clearly. Regardless of the benefit of some behavior suggested she will defy the request even to the extent that it harms her in some way.

I think the only thing that has seemed to have an effect on her is that we finally just told her that we would not get her mouth corrected but that she would have to figure out a way to pay for it herself when she got out on her own. Like not brushing teeth causes gum problems and sore mouth, and not taking care of personal hygiene causes eventual infection. The only way she seems to take heed a bit is if you let her suffer the consequences of her own action. Bad grades, and no study mean you have to repeat a school year with no option for summer school (she is living that one now). Treat school like a personal stage and not a place to learn then your grades suffer and you are the one that has to live with the results.

Turning over responsibility for her behavior back to her by having her live the consequences seems to be the best recourse at this point. So my recommendation to other parents and care givers going through this type experience is to figure out if you are the cause behind the behavior and seek to understand and help the child change it. If you are not the cuase then be part of the solution and after having given the child the list of what could happen for non compliance, let them take responsibility for their own behavior and go back to enjoying your life.

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