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probably desperate to do something to help in any small way at all, but afraid of getting in your way. He's probably also a little envious of how close you and the baby are. Particularly if you are too sore for sex, as stopping sex can make quite a difference to the way you and your husband communicate. Ask your husband regularly how he's coping, and tell him all your concerns, no matter how crazy or silly they might sound. Chances are, he's feeling the same way, and it's a huge relief to be going through this with someone else.

5. If you drink, drink! I'm not talking about getting plastered and sleeping through your baby's screams, or pumping your little one's tiny body full of toxins it can't cope with. I'm talking a glass of wine with a meal, or a sip of sherry to get your appetite going. Alcohol is not good for your breastmilk, or for your baby, but neither is stress or a poor diet. If you are finding it difficult to get enough rest (sleeping, or just sitting down), a glass of wine with a meal can often relax you enough to sleep while your baby sleeps, or just to let your muscles unwind in the bath. And if you always feel too tired to cook, or too stressed to eat properly, a sip of sherry and a takeaway can add valuable calories to your breastmilk.

Finally, be confident in your ability as a mother. You have all the tools you need for the job, so trust your instincts and do whatever you think is best. Don't allow well-meaning friends (or more commonly, family members) to tell you what to do, YOU are this baby's mother, and only YOU know what is best for her. You don't have to agree with my tips, or your mother's, or your mother-in-law's - and while it can be helpful to listen to other people's experiences, you can only really learn from your own. Your experience of childhood and adolescence is your best teacher in motherhood. Use it, and accept that no one person ultimately knows how to raise a child. You figure it out as you go along.

(Please do not substitute my advice for that of a doctor, psychologist, or other health professional. If you suspect that your health or that of your family is at risk, consult your doctor or midwife.)

Learn more about this author, Liz Davies.
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