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a bit of peace, and a calm baby, please don't immediately dismiss dummies. Nowadays, dummies must be 'orthodontically designed' which means they do not have an adverse effect on developing teeth. They are in fact better for children's teeth than thumb sucking - and easier to give up when your baby becomes a toddler. In my experience, babies do not 'forget' how to suckle at the breast after learning to suck a dummy - they learn two different types of sucking very quickly.

2. If you're breastfeeding, buy a breast pump. Firstly, they are gentler on sore nipples than a baby's suck, and really help to relieve the achy, heavy feeling in the first few weeks of breastfeeding when your breasts are really full. You can express the milk from one breast while your baby is feeding from the other and give your breasts a rest for the next feed. Bottle teats these days are much more similar to the real thing (although, of course, never a perfect substitute), and again, in my experience babies learn the difference between the two very quickly. Other advantages of expressing milk include: letting your husband (or forcing him to!) do the odd night feed, feeding your baby in public places if you feel uncomfortable exposing yourself, and if you save up enough in the freezer you can even get a babysitter and ... GO OUT!

3. Ask people to do things for you. If you have friends coming over, ask them to bring or cook you some food, do the washing up, give the carpet a quick hoover, put the washing on... whatever needs doing, don't be afraid to ask. A good friend will be happy to help you out, and whatever small task they complete will save you a job and give you a little extra snooze time. Friends who already have kids may do this without being asked, but childless friends might need a little gentle persuasion! You don't have to act like you're coping - most first time mothers aren't! And don't forget, sometimes the best thing someone can do for you is not visit. Don't be afraid of saying no to visitors when you're not feeling up to it.

4. Keep talking to your husband. The first few weeks of parenthood are topsy-turvy for both Mum and Dad, and dealing with such an enormous amount of emotional and physical exhaustion can mean you forget to tell each other how you're doing. While you're probably beginning to resent his seemingly deliberate ability to snore right through the baby's wailing, and the fact that he doesn't have to have little Johnny perpetually attached to his nipple - he's

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