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No matter how old you are, or how stable your marriage, or how financially secure you are, you're never ready for your first child!

You probably spent the majority of your pregnancy proudly buying pregnancy magazines and reading anything you could lay your hands on about parenting (yes, even toddler tantrums and teenage tearaways... fore-warned is fore-armed after all!)

However the minute you go into labour, it suddenly dawns on you that no matter how much you read, nothing can prepare you for the reality of childbirth.

Pacing around the hospital room as your body is racked relentlessly with contraction after contraction, you realise that there is nothing you can do to get yourself out of this situation - you've got to go through with it, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how unready you feel.

And it only gets harder once you go home. You can still barely get out of bed without wincing, your chest still feels half empty and you feel perpetually breathless, your breasts ache with your new milk, your coccyx is bruised and sore, you really haven't slept properly since you went into labour - and now it's three in the morning and your husband is somehow sleeping peacefully through the high pitched wailing that woke you the instant it began.

The most important thing to remember during these first weeks of motherhood is that this isn't going to last forever! Within a few weeks, your nipples will settle down and breastfeeding will actually become enjoyable. Within a couple of months, your baby will have settled into a sleep routine and you'll have pretty much recovered from your war wounds and will start to feel more human again. Within nine months, I guarantee you will be thinking about having another one!

A great mantra during those early days is: "This, too, will pass."

Although the first week of motherhood feels like an eternity, and your pregnancy suddenly seems like a previous lifetime, the months soon fly by, and the next thing you know, she's close to a year, and suddenly not a baby any more.

It's a cliche - but enjoy these fleeting months the best you can. It really is difficult sometimes to relax enough to enjoy it, but the following five tips may help you:

1. If you are comfortable with dummies/pacifiers, get one as soon as is humanly possible (preferably in pregnancy!) Many babies like to suck gently, in addition to sucking for milk, and most women have too much to do to just allow their baby to suck at the breast all day. If you want to have some time to yourself,

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