by Debra Cornelius

Created on: April 11, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Knowing your child's temperament can make discipline decisions easier and more effective.

Even though you may have more than one child in a household it is a common mistake to think that the same forms of discipline will work for each child. DON'T mistake this for having 'different rules' or guidelines for each child's expected behavior.

The general household rules should be the same for everyone.

Discipline for breaking the rules, however, should be based on each individual child's temperament. What 'works' with one child may not have the desired affect on another.

As an example; When my two children were growing up, my daughter (the oldest) was headstrong and stubborn. She had the tendency to push even harder in the opposite direction from which I wanted her to go in most aspects of life. 'Yelling, screams or threats (which are not a smart 'discipline action with any child) simply waved a red flag for her to push even harder to resists.

My son on the other hand was easy going and 'mellow' from the day he was born. in most instances a stern look and a tone of disapproval got his attention and corrected the problem behavior.

My daughter responded better to 'facts', do this or this will be the consequence, and then follow through...grounding, restricting privileges, non-negotiable after she made the informed choice to disobey.

With my son a simple firm NO! Or even 'the look', as your kids come to know that look of disapproval only mom can give, was enough to bring correction. A long drawn out list of arguments would have had him 'lost in space' and wondering what the point to it all was!

The key to effective consistent discipline is to know your child's individual temperament adjust your actions accordingly with love and consistency.

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