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Parenting is a job. We accept it when we choose to begin our family. This choice is made whether we practiced family planning or the family by accident plan. Once you become a parent, that choice carries some basic assumptions. The more important ones are that you will be actively involved in your child's learning, behavior, activities, and life. Needing to earn a living does not excuse this responsibility.

We have all been tired from a long day of work. Coming home, the last thing we are looking for is more work. As parents, this is part of the deal. Your children deserve you to be the best parent that you can be. Parenting without a plan will lead to unproductive time with your children. They won't feel that they have received attention from you. This will cause them to behave in ways unacceptable to you to get that attention.

You will react from your fatigue and then regret your actions. Neither you nor your child will benefit from such times. Your relationship won't grow in a proper direction. Your child won't grow up with the right understandings and attitudes about parent and child relationships.

To do this right requires a plan. You need to set aside some time to map out activities and alternatives for different nights of the week. Try not to overcrowd the schedule. Just make sure that you put your family time at the top of the list. It should supersede homework for the child and homework for the parent. You may want to turn a home cooked meal into a learning and bonding opportunity.

A few minutes of play in the yard is also a good choice. Teach the child a new skill or have them come and "help" you do something that is beyond their current ability. Children like to watch adults do difficult things like work on the car or build something.

Map your evenings out for 5 or 10 days in advance. For outdoor things, have an indoor alternative. Always keep an outdoor project or game in the wings for that chance great day that pops up unexpectedly. Help with the homework. Don't do it for them. You need to just be involved. It will help you identify a weak teacher or a gap in your child's learning.

If your child knows that he or she is at the top of the affection and attention list, there will be little resentment for the occasional night out or overnight business trip. These events will be scheduled for the child to see days or weeks in advance.

If possible, plan an alternative event that isn't just a baby sitter for the child to be doing while you're away. A trusted neighbor or family member may be willing to exchange taking a small group to the zoo or park for similar treatment in return from you at a later date.

Make simple rules of order around the house and stick to them. Early childhood training avoids huge conflicts later on. Consistency is paramount here. People and children alike do better when they understand the rules and see everyone follow them.

The payment for the job of parenting is a great relationship with well-adjusted happy children. If you are absent from this job too often you will be fired as a parent. You may not even know it until you realize that your children have replaced you with another caring adult in those special times of their lives.

Learn more about this author, Allen Teal.
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