by Phil Planet

Created on: April 11, 2007   Last Updated: September 19, 2007

THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE.

Somewhere in the '70's, not in a band and skint, penniless, I used to
buy the local paper every night and look under 'Bands, Musicians and Artistes, not much had been in recently and I was getting desperate. I Scanned down the columns and finding nothing except 'Magicians assistant required, good pay and use of Ford Escort van.' that's the very fellow for me I thought', I phoned the guy up and went to see him.

It turned out it was this character called Clive Webb, a comedy conjurer from "Tiswas", a Saturday morning kiddies T.V show, This should be a laugh I thought and after a couple of hours of lessons in how to set up guillotines, hand chopping off machines, and loading rabbits into top hats we were sorted, and the gig was mine.

A few days later we set off in his new Escort van, bound for the far North East, we arrived at a small Hotel that he often used, he knew
the people who ran it, and so had an account there. he booked me in for the two weeks we were to be up there, as this was his home town, he always stayed his mum's house, I ran him to his mum's house went back to my 'digs' to plan what I would do that evening (no gig this first night).

The Hotel must have been well known on the N.E. cabaret circuit, as it was full of bands and acts, this was getting better by the minute! I soon made friends with a group, they were a rock band from London who were doing the cabaret circuit just to pay the bills, that was the way it worked in the old days. They had loads of weed with them, and I was 'made up' smoking and jamming with them.

Each evening I would do the gig with Clive, run him back to his mum's, and go back to my digs. This place was F*g mad! full to the gunnel's with eccentrics, nutter's, acrobats, magicians, and bands, the place was a F*g madhouse, I loved it!.

Come the weekend, we were playing a big club venue, supporting one of
Clive's mates, someone called 'Wayne Check Allen' Clive proclaimed him to have been an 'All Winner's Winner' on the dreadful T.V talent show 'New Faces'. 'Wow' I said, (I had forbidden myself from watching such
Shite), I was a F*g rock star, filling in time between gigs. Arriving at the venue, I found it to be a huge place with a massive stage.

This should be O.K I thought, but when I went backstage to the dressing room I found it to be tiny! This was the place where I would have to store all the props! what you have to understand is, you don't just set up and go to the bar, you have to run on stage with the

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>