by c.l.beyer

Created on: April 10, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

At one point in my life, I may have said that any gift is better than none. Well, maybe to a child, it is. Children can make anything - rocks, sticks, pots and pans, paper - into an exciting toy. But adults? Somewhere along the line, we lose our sense of wonder at the world, and our taste in material possessions grows more discriminatory, even when something is a gift. How does one receive a lousy gift graciously?

The easy way out: lie. "Ooo" and "ahh" over the gift; thank the giver for knowing exactly what you wanted. But chances are, they'll see right through your facade, and lying isn't exactly the keystone of integrity. To be a gracious friend and relative, honesty and grace are the attributes to strive for when receiving a gift you neither wanted nor like.

Be a friend: Think of the giver's intentions. A person didn't give you a gift to cause you disgust or frustration; they gave you a gift to show their love and appreciation for you. So, reflect on your relationship as you comment on the gift. "Thank you so much for you thoughtfulness" is a good place to start.

Be honest: Don't say the gift is beautiful if you don't think it is. But don't say "That's the ugliest dishtowel I've ever seen" either. That's a sure-fire way to make someone doubt your friendship. Choose an attribute of the gift and comment on its worth. For example, if you receive a decorative croaking toad, say, "That's sure to bring some smiles around our house." Or if you receive a fake flower arrangement, comment on how the orange roses remind you of the ones your grandmother used to grow in her garden.

Be wise: After the party's over, and you head home with your gift, have a plan with what you should do with it. If you won't see the giver for a long time, try to think of someone who might appreciate such a gift. Ask that person if they would have a use for it; suppress the urge to use it as a "re-gift." However, if the person who gave you the gift will be coming over, undoubtedly with an eye out for the gift they gave you, try to find a use for it. Your house doesn't have to be perfectly decorated by your highest standards. Choose to think of the gift of an expression of love. May even the gift's imperfection remind you that there are relationships to be treasured much more than material possessions.

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