by Mj Ferruzza

Created on: April 10, 2007   Last Updated: June 17, 2010

When a couple breaks up many delicate situations tend to appear. Will I still be able to face her/his friends? Will my family support my decision? Where did I learn to put that long list of expletives together so eloquently when I last called them to tell them how I really felt?

Breaking up is a time bomb. And we all end up at ground zero at some point.

So imagine that the relationship was a nice pool of water. Like a pond or that baby pool you inherited from some neighbor lady because you thought the kids would like it, but you would have preferred to see you and your partner in it
wrestling in jello. Now you have dropped a stone in the pool. It causes a ripple effect. Many outgoing rings represent whereyou are during the break up.

Ground zero... It's over for one of you...or both! But it has
reached finality!
Ring one... Why? Oh dear God! Why? you cry out! I am worthless,
my life is over! I will never find anyone. I will be alone!
Ring two... Screw them! I am better than them! I will show them!
Ring three... No more relationships I will build myself into a new person.
Ring four... Time to self destruct. Drink, gamble, shop or eat.
Ring five... Recovery through friends, family or cheap meaningless
affairs! Yay!
Ring six... Ah...screw it! It wasn't worth it.
Ring seven... What's on TV
Ring eight .... I need new stuff. Including a worthless dating relationship
that will end when I want.
Ring nine... yawn! Everyone you know has been bored with your story.
Time to get a joke book, go to or hold a party and be the same old
improved you.
Ring ten.. You see your ex and are able to say a civil hello. Wish them
the best and then call their new partner and ask if there is any herpes
preventative cream you left last time you and your ex were together.
Just kidding.

RING ten.. You start to forget their name, pet peeves,
and why you broke up in the first place and you have resolved the nonsense.

Want monogamy? Marry a swan! Ok let's look at these two scenarios. Men love Pam Anderson. She is like a Barbie doll come to life. Women love the movie Pretty Woman. So, do men like the fantasy of being with a stripper and women love the fairy tale that a man will save them? Pam Anderson is a plastic Hollywood icon. Julia Roberts played a whore. But given the chance, a man would run away with from any home situation with Pam Anderson and a boatload of her income. And women would take a rich businessman/Richard Gere saving them and leave their partner at the drop of a hat!

The Wizard of Oz said hearts were made to be broken. But then again the Tin Man was pretty much an full adult toy himself. So enjoy yourself, your time off from relationships because you will be starting a new one soon enough and the process starts all over again!

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