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I think that the most frequent cause of divorce is a need to lie to ourselves.

We need the illusion that we have met the perfect partner, the one that completes us, the one we will grow old with. Wanting a dream is a fine thing. We believe the childhood stories, the movies, and the books of our cultures. We want our happy ending. We want to be Prince Charming or Cinderella. If only for a while.

Ask yourself this; did you want to know truthful details or have the dream?

Think hard about your own history for a second; about the relationships you have had. Really use your minds' eye to look at all the people you let into you life and heart. Did you really want to know the real, actual facts about that person; where they have lived and worked, if they were married before, or are still married to someone else, or if they have children you do not know about or have bad debts chasing them?

We want to ignore reality even when we begin to suspect that that other individual could be harmful to us mentally or maybe physically. Or we delude ourselves and believe that we would never do a "background check" on that person, oh; as that would be an invasion of their privacy, etc...So we convince ourselves to be shocked at the rational idea of a routine "background check" to confirm facts on a loved one. And in convincing ourselves to stay in ignorance of reality we make ourselves temporarily happy with the marriage until reality wakes us up.

Learn more about this author, Vic Burrack.
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