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We can't change people...it is as simple as that. The person has to want to change on their own, but we can help them and guide them to becoming a changed person.

First of all, you have to accept your spouse the way he/she is and the fact that he/she may never change. This does not mean that you convince yourself that your spouse is perfect and that you put up with him/her. It means that you understand that he/she has their own weaknesses (just like you do) and by accepting him/her you are allowing him/her to be their own person, not the person you want to him/her to be.

When we try to change our spouse's personal habits or how they spend their time we are usually doing it for ourselves or for their own well-being. However, trying to change your spouse only leads to arguments, rebellion, and cooled feelings. It just doesn't work when we try to force someone to change!

To really change someone you must stop trying to change them. You should appreciate their better side and praise and encourage them, which will allow them to grow to a higher potential. When they realize how highly you value their better side they will be more open to your ideas on how to change their lesser side.

Learn more about this author, Ashley M Woods.
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