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Being a people pleaser most of my life, I had great difficulty saying "no". Even though I knew I was being used and I knew the same people who used me had no problem saying "no" to me, I couldn't bring myself to say the word. Thankfully, that is no longer the case. Learning to say "no" was difficult but realizing that I didn't like myself was much worse.

It was then I decided I had to change.

I was determined that from now on I would only say "yes" if I really wanted to do what was requested of me. Everything else would be "no". I started with baby steps by saying "No" over the phone. It was easier than face to face and was good practice. I must admit that the first person I said no to was quite surprised by my answer but quickly got over it. Others were a little harder to deal with and would try to talk me into something I didn't want to do - but I held my ground.

With practice it became easier and I found that people were asking less of me. I came to realize that nothing bad was going to happen to me and the worse that could happen is that I might actually earn some respect. Eventually, after months of phone practice, I was able to say "no" face to face. It was easier than I thought and lightning didn't strike me down dead! When I say "yes" I no longer feel used - I feel appreciated. I look back now and wonder what I was so afraid of. I know now that if people are going to dislike you because you said no, then you don't need them in your life.

Learn more about this author, Dawna Sinclair.
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