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I was a young kid when my Uncle decided to take his life. My mom knew how much I loved him. She told me a stories,that he was robbed and killed while making his car payment. I was watching TV when my mom called from the hospital,to tell me about my Uncle.And I remember praying all night, asking god to let him live and promise I would stay out of trouble.I even ask him to take my life instead of his. Then the phone rang and it was my mom,telling me my Uncle had passed away.I just cried all night,yelling at god with anger. I started to get into more trouble,getting lock up in a juvenile home. Yet it seems I was given a lot of breaks, My mom would tell my probation officer, that my trouble started when my uncle was killed. I never told my mom,that I found a report one night,I forget how or why.As I read it,I could not believe what I was seeing. He shot himself in the head with a 22 rifle in the motel room.You have to understand one thing,the Vietnam war mess his head all up. He would drink Vodka to kill the nightmare he would have.Almost 30 years later,I feel he kept trying to tell me something.I have tried to commit suicide,at least tried on many occasion. What stop me from going thru with it was,I kept hearing this voice,I'm sorry I didn't mean to do it,I won't do it again,I'm sorry.You will never realize after it over,the impact it will have on your family. And to this day, I truly believe he was sorry for what he did,and he was guiding me thru. And to live my life,because there is so much in life, and God has plans for me.And as I write, his plans are becoming more clearer. I have this habit of hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.My friends never said anything at the time,until one day. He ask me, mark why don't you ever say goodbye. My response was,because I will see you again,and the day I say goodbye,I'll be gone.I have grown closer to God and I truly believe he forgave my uncle,because the nightmare is what killed him,before the war he was happy.Thank Tom you were always my favorite Uncle,Remember Buddy pizza.

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