by Mercedes O'Neil

Created on: April 07, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

When I think of " Marriage and Debt", many things come to my mind. But, because marriage takes two people and communication it doesn't always work the way we want them to.
In my experience debt, whether the amount made between partners, the amount paid between partners, or the stress over it in a marriage is clumped in with the in- equality of household chores, responsibilities and duties. Nothing is equal.

Debt is something that can break a marriage.
I should know mine is hanging by a thread from marital debt. Not from buying fancy clothes on credit cards, or buying pretty things for my house that I just couldn't live without.
But, from a marriage where my husband works( and he does work hard I give him that.) However, we have exorbanant amount of medical bills (over 1/5th of our income goes to medical on a good month) that no matter what we do and how hard we try we are always going to have. He just can't wrap his head around the fact that we have special need kids, and in his income level we don't qualify for help. This puts us in a bad place of having to pay for everything. So, we are BROKE... and up to our eyeballs in medical debt, credit debt for medical bills that we had to charge last year, and that just as we catch up will have to charge more probably.
He is thinking that we are not the norm since we have debt. But we are very fortunate as well living in a large house, 2 cars, food on the table every meal, trips every year somewhere, medical care, and Debt... Oh and a husband with expensive hobbies. Not that we are affluent but we are not in the gutter by any means, but we are not comfortable either we squeak by ever month and I try to scratch out an existence.
I have contemplated divorce over the debt and fights it has caused. Not that it would go away, but because I wouldn't have to fight with him all the time over it.
Marriage and Debt can be a Marriage breaker.I know that it can feel hopeless, and lonely, and like an uphill battle. But as responsible people we have once overcome a bill of over $20,000 and paid it off totally that was such a sense of accomplishment. I am hoping that this too will pass and he can see that life is the journey...

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