by Anne StClair

Created on: April 06, 2007   Last Updated: June 09, 2009

If you have been given a gift that you think is 'lousy' it can be difficult to accept the gift graciously. But what is a lousy gift, really? Obviously the gift wasn't 'lousy' to the person who gave it to you (unless they hate you of course), but is something the person who gave it to you likes, but which you do not. This could mean you have better taste, or are more sophisticated than the giver, or it could mean that it is you who has no taste, and the giver does.

Either way, the gift is 'lousy' to you. So how can you accept it graciously?

The first thing to remember is that the person who gave you the gift likes you, and this is a compliment. If they do not like you, why would they bother to give you a gift? Secondly, it is probable that they gave you a gift they would have wanted for themselves. But instead of keeping it, they gave it to you. That is a sacrifice, and another thing to be grateful for.

So thank them sincerely. They have thought about you, they like you, and they have probably given you something they would have wanted themselves. It does not matter whether you like the gift or not. It really is the thought that counts, and you do not have to mention that you are thanking them sincerely merely for the thought. Even if you genuinely hate the gift and plan to dispose of it at the first opportunity, you can still be grateful that they thought enough of you to give you a gift at all.

Another thing to remember is that you now know more about the tastes (or lack thereof) of the giver, and so now you know what kind of gift to give them next time! Again, you can be sincerely grateful for this additional piece of information about your friend. You might also spare a thought that if you think their gift is 'lousy' because it does not fit your tastes, then it is quite possible your friend has thought your previous gifts to them were lousy, for the same reason. To paraphrase an old saying: one person's lousy gift is another person's treasure.

If you are good at acting, it will not be difficult to act graciously when given a gift you consider 'lousy'. But not everyone is good at acting, or at hiding disappointment or whatever other emotion the lousy gift has created in you. In this case perhaps the best thing to do is be prepared to hate every gift on sight before you take off the wrapping. Prepare to hate it, and most often you will be pleasantly surprised that the gift is not 'lousy' at all. Regardless of whether you like the gift or not, prepare to be genuinely thankful for having a friend who likes you well enough to give you any gift.

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