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As someone who has not had the luxury of privacy throughout my entire marriage, I consider it very important. I don't believe it's a question of having something to hide. In my case, I didn't. However, I did not like him knowing everything. He had access to my email. He found websites I frequented and visited them himself. He listened to my phone conversations through closed doors.

In the beginning, I shared some pretty intimate secrets about myself and, now that things have gone bad between us, he's threatened to tell people those secrets about me. He has no regard for the promises he made that he would never tell anybody. I should be the one to decide who knows my secrets, not him.

When he chose to invade every aspect of my life, he showed me that he didn't trust me. I felt violated as a result. When someone goes to great lengths to find out every secret you have, every action you do, it has an impact on how much you are willing to share with him/her in the first place.

Issues regarding the relationship, of course, must be shared. However, we all have the right to keep a small part of ourselves sacred from everyone else.

Learn more about this author, Alysse Elensar.
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