7 Keys to Better Communication

Listen carefully. The key to good communication is the ability to hear what others say. How can you make a rational reply if you're formulating an answer while he's talking?

Don't interrupt. When you cut someone off mid-sentence he feels disrespected. He knows that you aren't really listening to his point of view, you're only waiting to talk.

Pause for effect. Take a moment to digest what you've heard.

Repeat what he said, in your own words. Does he think you understand him? If not, let him make his point again. Until you both know one another's meaning any further discussion is a waste of time. And a drain of energy.

Validate his feelings. You don't have to agree with his point of view. You do however, have to respect his right to feel the way he does. If you want him to listen when it's your turn to speak, then make it clear that you understand why he holds the opinion he does before you contradict him.

Use 'I' instead of 'you'. Sentences that begin with "You always," or "You never," will lose him before you've even begun. Instead, the more effective, "I feel such and such when I hear this and that" takes the accusatory edge out of your speech.

Take the high road. Sometimes it's better to keep the peace than be right. Pick and choose your battles carefully. If the issue won't matter tomorrow, a week later or longer, let it go. You'll live longer and be much happier!

Learn more about this author, Stephanie Costello.
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