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This sounds contradictory but I found myself closest to God during my period of greatest personal pain. People here who read all my articles may find it very hard to believe that all of these things have happened to one person but unfortunately it is true. I will start the story but I will not go into all the details. I don't have the space here. Nor the inclination to put this here. I will tell the story eventually.

I had my first child when I was 19 years old. I moved back in to my parents house and I let them help me raise my child. My parents and I had never had a good relationship. I didn't really know why but the situation continued to get worse. Later I married and my son and I moved into the house with my new husband. It came out after sessions with a psychologist that my parents had molested my son or at least that is what my son claims.

We started quite a legal battle and it was drawn out for four years. Those were the darkest times of my life and those were the times that pulled me closer to the LORD.

I have a much closer relationship now and I had an even closer relationship then. It is a pity that the closeness that we find with God in times of trouble often leaves us later when we are no longer in those times. Maybe that is why we continue to be tried, in order to continue to bring us closer to the lord. I know that I pray more and I study more and I rely more on the lord when I am in trouble. I guess that is why I keep getting in trouble. But it has finally started to dawn on me that no matter what comes up in my life, God will protect me and God wants us all to have a close relationship with him. Maybe when we start having a better relationship without the trials we will have fewer trials.

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