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I provide unconditional support.

This birth goes smoothly and very fast. As usual, the mother is right. Her child is born a few hours after arriving. This birth was without medications or other complications. Most birth ends up being uncomplicated.

Mother and father greet the baby. Their faces glow with love, adoration, and pride. This is what it is all about- the moment that the family is created. I am honored to witness this beautiful event many times a year.

As I watch this family grow, I think about how women are vulnerable during their labors. How some of them have set goals and expectations. I have held women as they cried because they failed to meet their own expectations. They grieve that they felt the need for medication. They express a sense of failure at their need and ask my permission to take medication. My permission. Who am I to with hold my permission? I hold the ones that need holding and nurture them through the process. It is their own permission that they are really asking for because as a doula I never judge the choices.

Then this mother turns to me and says "I couldn't have done it without you." I reply with I'm glad my presence helped you. Inside, I smile and think that it wasn't me at all. I was simply the guide that allowed her to trust this process.

Learn more about this author, Mary Paliescheskey.
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