by Rhonda M.

Created on: August 20, 2005   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Love is hard to describe and everyone shows love in different ways making it very hard to understand. Dealing with love takes a lot of patience and strength in the first place, dealing with unrequited love takes more. What is even worse is there is no way to stop love and no way to make someone love you. No one can control love and true love will control you.

What is unrequited love? Unrequited love is when you give love but no love is given back in return. If you find yourself in this type of situation what can you do to get the love you want and need? Sadly many times with the person you are with there is nothing you can do. You simply cannot force anyone to love you no matter how much you want him or her to. Love is not a controlled emotion it is felt with the heart. If it is not there it is just not there. So how can you continue living without the love of your life? The road is not nicely paved but can be smoother with time and distance.

To begin the process of dealing with unrequited love everything needs to be put on the table from both people. Have a long talk with the person of your affection. Keep it civil and do not get angry. Deep inside you know if there is any hope of saving the relationship before the conversation; don't get angry when you see the real truth. Prepare yourself to move on because that is all there is left to do.

The next step is once you know the truth apply it. Distance yourself as best you can from this person. If you stay in close contact you are only torturing yourself. You cannot begin the healing process if you are still spending time with them. True love never dies so each time you see the person you will have that slight twinge of how you wished it could have worked. Expect this twinge, it will always be there just be smart enough not to retrace your steps and try again. Unless the person has really changed the love will still not be there and you are only setting yourself up for the heartache all over again. Trust me time will ease the pain though it may never be fixed.

Yes, you are going to feel down. Yes, you are going to be depressed. Take time to get your thoughts straight and yes even cry if you must but don't keep moping around the house. Go out with friends when they ask. Go out on your own if you want. Just do something to prove that you are still a living, loving, single individual with lots to give to someone worth your time. While on the subject do not be too quick to jump back into a serious relationship. Your guard is down and it is easy to make wrong, irrational, even stupid decisions. Just go out to meet new people and have fun for the first little bit. Jumping right back into a serious relationship can leave you in worse shape than you were before. Another man/woman is not the cure for the one you left. Time and clear thinking will prepare you to move on with your life and a new hopefully loving relationship if you choose to.

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