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Discipline: Stick to your word!
While standing in line at the grocery store, I hear a child wailing as he comes through the store with his mother. She is pushing the heavy cart while dragging her son along behind her as he throws himself on the floor and she lifts him back up again. When they find their place behind me in the check out line, he grabs a candy bar from the rack. He whines and says he should get one. The tired mother says, "No, you haven't been good today." He then proceeds to scream a most blood-curdling scream, which causes everyone in the store to stare. The mother follows with a few more threats of time out, early bedtime, and no friends over tomorrow. The boy escalates his melt down and the frazzled mother caves. The boy receives his reward for his bad behavior.

The biggest parenting mistake is to say one thing and do another. The child learns that fussing will get him his way, and that your word will not consistently be applied. When a child knows your words will be enforced, they will be more likely to follow them and anticipate them. Children need consistency to feel safe. A child that fusses in her car seat has most likely been allowed out at some point when she was having a melt down. Your reaction to bad behavior should come quickly. Never say, "The next time you do that then" Enforce the punishment right away. Children will also learn that actions have consequences, and this teaches them responsibility.
Having a rewards system is also an excellent way to inspire good behavior. Rewards can be as simple as words of praise to sticker charts to special activities. It is a fine line between rewarding good behavior and bribing your child to behave. Make sure you recognize the difference. Another good technique is to determine a privilege that your child enjoys, like watching television, and taking it away for bad behavior. Behavior and consequences should be explained ahead of time both for your benefit and your child's benefit. This will prevent you from reacting in anger and applying unreasonable consequences, and it helps your child anticipate actions and consequences.
For younger children, distraction is a great discipline technique. A child who is misbehaving by trying to take away another child's toy can be distracted by singing a song, playing a game, or by being given another toy. Children that have lots of energy and work themselves into frenzies often just need to be settled down. If this describes your child, be ready with solutions: remove your child from the situation, try a cold glass of water, use a cold towel on the forehead, try counting to ten, or using calm speech.
Many times it is the parent who does not want to take the time to follow through with good discipline techniques. It may seem easier at the time to give your child the candy bar or to cave in for a few minutes, but you are not teaching them anything. In the long run, you are just making it harder on both of you. Whatever technique you decide on, make your word stick! If you say "No" then mean "No." Carry through on your consequences and be consistent with how you discipline. It may take awhile for your child to get accustom to new discipline techniques. It may seem harder at first, but wait it out. You will both be happier!

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