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Growing up, we all remember what it was like feeling less "worthy" than our elder brother, less smart than our elder sister, less loved than our younger sister, or even less beautiful than her.
Those feelings were real to us then, and it might still be, deep down in our heart.
And those are the reasons of sibling rivalry.
When we feel we are not equal to our siblings, we tried our best to become like them, and then to become better than them, no matter how.
Our parents might have helped us ease those feelings, helped us curb the rivalry, or they might have made it worse without even realising it.
Now that we are parents, it is our job to curb sibling rivalry from ruining our kids' relationship with each other.
A little rivalry might be healthy. But it still needs to be curbed.
I think the most important way to curb it is to never ever compare your children. Period. Be it the smallest thing we think will do no harm to them, or something more harsh like saying "Even your younger sister can answer that question, why can't you?".
Don't ever make excuses for younger children, saying to an older child "It's ok for your brother to do that because he is still young."
Your elder child will quickly remember how you didn't allow him to do that exact same thing when he was his brother's age. He will think to himself, just because my brother is younger than me, he can get away with anything because he is the younger one, no matter how old he grows up to be.
The next thing is to make them understand as early as possible, that being fair does not simply means giving each person the exact same thing the other gets. Let them know each and every one of them has different needs, and we are there to provide them with what they need.
Make them understand if one of them needs a new pair of shoes, it doesn't mean that we have to buy a pair of shoes for each one of them.
But gifts are different. Each child feels special when they receive a gift from parents. So, they will automatically feel one of them is more special than the rest if he got the most presents from a parent.
I think, if we buy a present for a child because he is top in class, we should also find another opportunity to buy a present for another child for trying his best in the examinations, even if he didn't score as high as his brother.
Another thing we as parents must do is to instill in them the habit of sharing. Don't force them to share their things. Instead,
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Keys to curbing sibling rivalry
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