by Janea Washington

Created on: March 28, 2007   Last Updated: June 29, 2009

Kicking the smoking habit is not an easy thing to do. It is not easy for the smoker and suprisingly, it is not easy for the smokers family. My husband has been an off and on smoker for many years. Recently, my husband was diagnosed as diabetic. The sudden onset of blurred vision and chronic fatigue scared us both. He decided not to take any of the medications prescribed to him and change his body naturally. He began a strict diet and exercise regimen and within 3 weeks his blood sugar was normal and he was feeling great. However, the one change he wasnt ready to make was to quit smoking. It has been 4 months since the diabetes scare and last week he announced to me that he was ready to quit.

I smiled and gave him a big hug and lots of words of encouragement. On the inside however, I screamed "Nooooo". My reason being that he tried to quit once before and I got to see first hand my very own in home version of Dr.Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. I am married to the most wonderfully pleasant, good spirited and light hearted man in the world. The man that I know retreated during the first week of quitting and was replaced with a moody, grumpy and extremely distant man. I had never seen my husband this way and was shocked at the change.
I am not a smoker and had heard that quitting was hard. I had no idea. He couldnt sleep and seemed to look so anxious and uneasy. I felt so bad for him , I wanted to help but there was nothing that I could do. He was going throught his alone and all I could do was watch. He snapped at me a few times when I asked how he was doing. The man was miserable and I was trying to make small talk. It was at that point that I realized that what I could do to help, was to leave him alone for the first few days. I had to show my support from a distance. Now, this approach may not work for everyone but for us it was the perfect solution. My husband loves me very much and he knew he was acting like a jerk. Everytime, he would snap or be moody he would become more irritated with himself and it would make the process even worse. I had to remember that he was having a hard time and that my husband was in there somewhere and we just had to let this grumpy cigarette guy pass through. This man didnt mean to hurt my feelings and I couldn't let his mood affect me. I couldn't take any of this situation personally. This wasnt going to be forever and everything would return to normal after a few weeks. The craziness did pass and he quit for 5 months. He eventually started again and now here we are back to our first days of quitting. This time he has vowed to quit for good. He is quitting not only for his health but for ther fact that we have a new baby boy together and he wants to see his son grow up. I know this week is going to be a tough one. I am ready this time for the next few weeks. I know it's going to take a lot of patience and understanding on my part. I also know that I love this man with all of my heart and he is doing a very difficult thing for himself and for us. So a little moodiness and grumpiness isn't too much to endure. I am so proud of him and when he emerges from the depths of the "quitting darness", I will tell him just how much I love him and that I am so proud he quit...because thats what he is going to need to hear and I will be here to tell him...I will never quit on him...ever.

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