by Amanda Coers

Created on: March 28, 2007   Last Updated: April 04, 2007

I know very well when my children's birthdays are approaching. Not because it marks the day these delightful creatures came into my life, but because their eyes take on a feverish glimmer of sheer greed as they shout out during commercials, "Mom! Can I have that for my birthday?" I eye my paltry checkbook and grimace, knowing I'm going to pay a pretty penny for the dancing robots and Barbie dolls sporting dogs that really poop.

I long for the days when we quietly celebrated my children's birthdays with a few family members and only a small pile of educational toys. When they were babies, they were easily thrilled with balloons, a small cake and the fancy wrapping that came with their gifts. Those were happy days.

Now, as they become pre-teens, it seems their birthday parties are all about inviting their loud and sometimes ill-mannered friends, raking in the most loot and scoring the coolest toys as well as eating massive quantities of cake. What ever happened to those sweet chubby faces who crowed with delight over one tiny cupcake? Who are these masters of commerce who eagerly await their birthday guests in order to pounce on them like highway men, stripping them of their offered gifts and secreting them away to gloat over their gains?

As I step back and try to teach my children the true meaning of their birthday, I'm now planning their parties with a very different theme: quiet time with mommy or daddy. With three rowdy kids in the house, it's easy to be swept away in the everyday activities that rob us of our special time together. Last year, I made special plans to spend the entire day with my oldest daughter for her eighth birthday. More than any electronic diary or silly micro-pet, my daughter was thrilled by this special treatment.

We started out after breakfast on the Saturday closest to her birthday. We trekked out to the park with a loaf of bread and as she fed the ducks, I told her once again, about the day she was born. I told her how happy I felt, about how tiny she was and how proud I am of her each day. She glowed under this simple praise.

Later, I let her choose the restaurant where we would have lunch. She was thrilled to have this level of authority. After our lunch, we headed to the local mall, where I gave her $20 to spend as she chose. It took several hours of indecision and visiting several shops, but finally she was well pleased with her purchases. I could see she felt so grown up and special to do her very own shopping.

At home, I made her a special dinner of her favorite foods. We ended the day, sharing a birthday cake and looking at her baby pictures. She told me it was her "bestest birthday ever," and kissed me on the cheek.

I followed those same simple traditions with each of my children for their birthdays. We have small parties with one or two special friends and select family members. My children then look forward to their special day out. My son often chooses to go out with his dad, which is fine. They had a wonderful time last year playing video games and riding go-carts. All-in-all, we don't end up spending much money for gifts, instead we opt to give our children the gift of time and special attention.

Those are the gifts that last. A gift of love, time and attention speaks to your child's heart at any age. Money is so trivial. Flashy gifts and trendy toys won't carry them into adulthood. Use your child's birthday to show them just how much you adore them - not with material gifts, but with words of love and honor.

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