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The concept of an arranged marriage is an idea that is abhorrent to many Westerners yet it is surprising at how high the success rate can be for a marriage of this nature to last a lifetime. Contrary to much popular belief, an arranged marriage needn't be a relationship that is restrictive and emotionally stifled. The reality of the situation may in fact be quite a positive one for the following reasons:

(1) Parents who select partners for their children to wed often have a greater life experience and understand the vagaries of partnerships more intently than their offspring. They may be able to observe any compatibilities between two parties and have great insight into the long-term effectiveness of a planned union.

(2) Although the mentioning of material assets as a basis to wed is an unattractive aspect for many when considering an arranged marriage the simple fact remains that in many cultures where the custom is widely practiced so many families exist under conditions of abject poverty. One needs to consider the practical aspects of life in relation to living comfortably and with fewer stresses. Arranged marriages have often provided an avenue to a life of material benefits for those who sometimes would otherwise go without such benefits.

(3) In countries such as India where arranged marriages are relatively common, the status of an individual and the family they come from can be improved if one enters into an arranged marriage. Once again, to many Westerners considerations such as this are practically unthinkable when one is contemplating marriage. Yet the caste system in India is so entrenched and pervasive that it is very hard to avoid its reality. An arranged marriage can be one way to improve one's station in life.

(4) To be fair, it should be mentioned that some arranged marriages do not work out successfully. If one does not feel a great affinity or liking for someone that they are supposed to wed then a long-term union is not going to be a likely outcome. People need a certain amount of freedom of choice in life in order to find true happiness and purpose. Yet it has often been observed that the members of an arranged marriage actually can grow to like one another over time and a respect for each other sometimes develops over the course of years.

(5) An arranged marriage may have one big advantage over a less formal selection of mate and that being that one's choice of partner is given strong consideration by others and many factors are taken into account concerning who might be the most suitable mate. Often the collective discernment of a family group in selecting the most appropriate candidate can result in a wise choice of companion.

For them who have never experienced the first hand reality of an arranged marriage, it is extremely difficult to understand the finer intricacies and workings of this traditional custom. Many have been schooled to think that true love is the only basis for a lasting marriage and that there has to be a freshness and spontaneity to unfettered selection of a mate. But the statistics of divorce rates paint a rather disturbing picture on this. Ironically arranged marriages seem to have an overall better chance of lasting, whether this be largely because traditional cultures who favor them frown on divorce is hard to gage.

Learn more about this author, David Braybrooke.
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