by Susan Varden

Created on: March 27, 2007   Last Updated: June 29, 2007

It was like a slap in the face one morning, while in the shower doing my self- breast exam. I felt something there that just didn't belong. Of course right away I jumped to the obvious conclusion. CANCER, Why not my Mother died of cancer, my aunt died of breast cancer so maybe now it is my turn. Oh this is not fair; I have not yet had any children or experienced true love.

When I got to work I went straight to the company nurse. Much to my surprise she said oh it's nothing dear don't worry yourself, its not cancer at all just a little fatty node. I could not figure out how in the world she would know this just by touching my breast. So off to the Doctors office I went.

Then the real worry started. My family doctor made an appointment with a specialist for me that same week. Before I knew it, I was in the hospital having a lumpectomy. They also took nodes from under my arm. Sure enough just as I had felt that first time in the shower my suspicions were correct, it was cancer. But the good new was that it was not in the lymph nodes. The doctor felt she had removed all of the cancer so therefore I would not have to undergo chemotherapy.

Once out of the hospital I had to go to The Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto. There I saw a doctor who said to me, I want to put you into a study where I give you an envelope, and if the note inside says radiation, you will receive radiation, and if not, you won't. I found this a bit strange but what the heck he was the doctor. I picked the envelope with the no radiation. That was it; I was free to go home.
Now for Part 2 of Breast Cancer

It was six months later and I was happily involved with the love of my life. We were visiting his mother at Christmas time and my breast was sore for some reason. The same breast that I had the lumpectomy performed. So when the holidays were over I went to see my specialist. She had me come in to have apiece removed. When I awoke from the surgery she told me that it was cancer and the best way to deal with it would be a radical mastectomy. I felt dizzy, I felt sick to my stomach, just when my life was going where I wanted it to go. What if I had picked the envelope that said radiation would I still be here hearing this today?

When I awoke after the mastectomy operation my boyfriend was right there by my side. He was so supportive and loving, and I felt so fortunate to have him. We had only been dating for three months but yet here he was. I had heard horror stories of women who lost a breast,

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