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I am a survivor of sexual abuse, i was constantly being raped by my own father for 7 years from the age of 9 till 16. My whole family turned their back on me, and stood by my father and still do to this day.

I am very protective of my sons, i always will be. Its a parents duty to love and protect their children, to always be there for them through thick and thin.

I would never ever put my children in a position where i think they may be at risk from any forms of abuse. My children are my world. I know what it is like not to have my parents stand by me, protect and love me. My advise to parents who are survivors of abuse of any kind are:-

1, Love and protect your children.

2, Protect your children without smothering them.

3, Let your children have a life, i.e. by going out with their friends, or have
them come over to yours.

4, Talk to them, and let them know you are always there for them.

5, Make sure you always know where they are, and who they are with, this is for
their protection, and your peace of mind.

6, Make sure they are in at a sensible time, so that they are not wondering the
streets, if you set ground rules from an early age, they will grow to respect
them and know that you set these rules for a reason.

7, Tell your children you love them every single day.

8, Express to them the importance of keeping safe, and away from strangers.

9, Tell them that if anyone ever hurts them in anyway or form, even if they are
being threatened by whoever it maybe, to always come and tell you, and let them
know that they can trust you, and that you will believe them.

10, Always listen to your children, don't ever turn your back on them, especially
if they come up to you and say that something bad has happened.

11, If you know of anyone who is an abuser, and your children know them, tell them
to keep well away, it is for their own good they will understand if you are
straight with them in the first place.

12, Explain to them from a early age, when you know that they are capable of
understanding what you are talking about, that if anyone, ever touches them, or
hurts them in anyway, that it is wrong and they must always come and tell you,
but make sure they know that you wont be mad with them, and that you will do
whatever you have to do, to stop this happening again.

13, Never go out and leave your children with anyone you are not sure about, or
haven't known for long, you never know what might happen.

14, If you are a single parent like me, always be careful who you let into your life
make sure you get to know them well first before introducing them to your
children.

15, Always put your child's safety first before anything.

So always remember, love your children, protect them but without smothering them,
if you smother your children, by not letting them have friends or going out etc,
they will become very insecure, they wont have the social skills they all need as
part of growing up.

Learn more about this author, Teresa Meakin.
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