Thinking back, it all started in those days where internet connection was just available. My husband subscribe or sign up for the dial-up internet connection(cyberway/starhub). He was so excited about the internet world. I can see he was can sit in front of the computer for hours. Soon it was routine and habits. He spent more time with the computer and more time 'interacting' with the computer than me, the wife.

I was pregnant then with our second child.

There was hardly any communication. I do not feel 'loved'. I need to look after our son, about one year plus then and at the same time I need to do housework. Everyday, my son had me and I had my son.

Trust is what I have for him. I was angry, disappointed that he never spent time with me and our child. He never had patience for us either. Soon I found him to behave more differently and more particular about his dressing as well. He came home late as well. This dragged until the day my waterbag burst. I finally gave birth to my daughter. I was in the hospital for days.

Little did I knew that as soon as I was discharged, I have to face the dilemma of my husband having affair. I caught him red-handed. My trust in him was vanished. I was trembling with fear, agitated, filled with hurt and anger. I was feeling insecure at the same time. Separation and divorce, which to choose? What about the children? I was grieved, deeply hurt and insecure. It is a stressful situation. I have to look after my son and the just born baby, and at the same time I had to face the pressure of my husband unfaithfulness. I was not able to eat and sleep for days and weeks. I was thinking of suicide, thinking of death as life was so miserable. However, I never.

After the truth was revealed, he 'eloped' with the woman after some time. He left the family. Day after day I was so insecured, so scared of life and feeling so helpless. My mum visited me, called me, my brother consoled me as well. I was left alone with the two kids. I knew that I need to get a job. I knew that I could not rely on him any longer. He could not be trusted and he was so irresponsible. He left the family for another woman. I hated him for what he did. He left me and the family at a time where I needed him most and when the children needed him too. This is the greatest deceit and betrayal a man can ever hurt a woman, a mother of his children.

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