The search for independence. We've all craved this in our lives but the hunger for it has never been greater than it is for teenagers. As difficult as this time of life can be, it's easily the most important and necessary time in a teenage life.

My teenage daughter has battled for independence ever since she was about 12 years old. We've struggled over clothing (what's appropriate), makeup (how not to look like a hooker!), and our current battle ground is highschool homework.

But here's the deal we've always offered her- don't give us such a hard time and we guarantee you'll get your privilege in a timely way. This has always worked. We figure out what her current currency is and we bargain with that. Right now it's access to the internet for music downloads. We give her an hour a day when she proves that she's finished her homework. If she lies, she loses the privilege indefinitely. This technique has always worked.

Despite the struggle, being witness as your teenage matures and grows is truly special. Hang in there. Most people grow up to be mature and independent from their parents. You did. Your teen mostly will also.

Learn more about this author, Susan Buchanan.
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