Most office romances SHOULD NOT be stopped. The beginning and end of affairs are solely the business of those involved and no one else. There are exceptions, of course. If a boss takes advantage of an employee by forcing a relationship, that is harassment. He/she should be at least warned to stop. or more likely face punishment and/or lawsuit.

As a former boss of a creative division of a large company, I observed office romances among my employees. Several resulted in marriage, and years after my retirement, I still correspond with one couple. They now have high-school and college age children, and I share their pride and happiness. I'm the godfather of one of the children.

Of course, there are negative aspects to office romances, other than the obvious harassment cases. On one occasion, an employee was separated from his wife and started dating another employee in our division. His divorce action was already in process, so I didn't consider it a problem. However, one day his wife called me ... the boss ... and tearfully complained that her soon-to-be ex-husband had moved in with his new girlfriend, the employee in my division.

My response, the only one I could have given, was that as long as the two were doing their work competently, I had no right to interfere. I tried to be sympathetic to the wife in the conversation, but she threatened to take legal action against the couple. She also declared she would report me to company authorities for my condoning such behavior. She then hung up with a bang.

Although I had never mentioned before to the couple that I knew of the new romance, I felt it was my duty to call them into my office and discuss the problem. As they sat down, I told them of the phone call and my concern that it could result in trouble for all three of us. I emphasized that I was very uncomfortable for being dragged into the situation, but also that I was not criticizing their work performance. I ended the interview by advising them to settle the problem as quickly and quietly as possible.

Fortunately for all concerned, the ex-wife soon went on to another relationship and no further word was heard from her. The couple soon married, and 30 years later I still correspond with them. I know I was lucky in this case rather than wise, but it was an example of how an office romance, even a legitimate one, can cause possible complications.

Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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