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Love... It's too bad you can't just slice it up like a piece of pie and divide it equally among those in your life who need it. And unfortunately, when parenting multiple children there will be times when only the crumbs remain and someone is hungry for something sweet! The key to spreading your love equally among your children is first realizing that they are individually different therefore requiring different types of personalized treatment and second, practice consistency.

This concept didn't really occur to me as a mother of two. My oldest daughter was five years old when I had my son and she welcomed the prospect of being a "big sister." However, it was having my twins that made me realize how different each child really is. When I found out I was having twin girls, I automatically went into "identical" mode. I envisioned having beautiful little genetic duplicates who would look alike, sound alike, act alike and be treated likewise as well. Boy, was I thrown for a loop the minute they vacated the womb, as one came out a kicking and screaming demanding diva-like attention while the other remained quiet and calm unless she was touched! One preferred being breast-fed while the other would go on a hunger-strike unless she was fed by the bottle. Then, just when I thought I had a handle on how to manage the different personalities, they'd pull the old switcheroo and swap identities! Perhaps that is what made me realize that when one child observes another receiving the attention she desires, she behaves accordingly as an attempt to claim a piece of the pie.

In order to exercise fair treatment, parents should recognize the unique qualities in each of their children. When you bring a new baby home, naturally much attention otherwise received by the older child will now be diverted to caring for the baby. Often times, the older child begins to act like the baby in order to receive the desired attention. When I had my twins, my son made the comment, "mommy, am I not your baby anymore?" I immediately established with him what made each of my children unique and special and unique as far as birth order was concerned. For instance, I explained that my oldest daughter was my first baby. Therefore, she would always hold the special quality of being my very first child. My son, on the other hand, was my first and only son and would always be able to hold on to that special individual quality, and my twins were not only my final children but my only set of twins which,

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