by BC Doan

Created on: March 25, 2007   Last Updated: May 08, 2007

I consider parenting as my first priority since the needs of my children always have to meet before anything else. As a disabled, single mother of three, I face many obstacles and painful experiences. It takes strong will, courage, and determination to be a good parent as much as it does to be a writer. Although two paths are not the same, they are complimenting and enriching one another.

As a parent, you learn to have patient, compassion, and understanding. You pay attention to details, finding creative ways to solve problem, mastering the art of multi-tasking, remembering all the different important day/time/event of each child, and be attentive to their needs. When it comes time to make a decision, you trust your gut instinct; you rely on your moral judgment. To be a parent, you have to be organized, live under stress, handling pressure, and balancing your juggling act.

I find it useful to keep at least three calendars to manage what is going on. I have one calendar in the kitchen, where we regularly congregate. As soon as the newsletter comes home, I scan through it, and mark my calendar with the event right away. My children love the idea of knowing what they have to do or where they have to be at what time. The second calendar is underneath my keyboard by the computer. It serves as a reminder to pay bills on time, and the errands that have to be done. The third calendar I keep in my purse. It is my daily journal, goals, appointments, and notes for a story or poems that pop up in my head at unexpected times.

It is not different to be a writer from being a parent. The same principles apply to a writer's world: organization, patient, working under great pressure to meet deadlines, finding new perspective to approach your writing, and staying on task. As a writer you keep your projects separate and straight. You enforce discipline on yourself. You find creative ways to recycle your articles to other markets. You learn to steal a little time, and carve out a little space to write. The need to write is strong and pushy. If you don't write, you feel as though you are missing something. Writing keeps us sane. Writing is our soul food. Writing makes us happy and whole.

Honestly, to be a parent and to be a writer, for me, go hand in hand. It is rewarding to watch a child grown into adulthood, as much as seeing your imagination or experiences turns into story, or article. I firmly believe the experiences I have as a parent inspiring and expanding the writer's world in me.

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