by Helen Richardson

Created on: March 25, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Like the authors write in this book, there are so many books on parenting out there that tell you what do with your children and how to do it, but there are very few books that tell you what to do with your mind while you're parenting.

I love this book for addressing just that. I found this when my daughter was about six months old, and I was just feeling lonely as a parent. I felt like there was something and I wasn't getting it from any other parenting book or group or website. I saw this book and thought "finally!" just when I saw the title.

I immediately sat down in the bookstore and started to read it, and by the time my hour of freedom away from the baby was up, I knew I had to buy it.

I am not officially a Buddhist, but I do try to incorporate the idea of mindfulness and non-attachment into my life. Becoming a mother made me realize just how difficult non-attachment is. How do you stay non-attached now that there is a human being in the world who can both fill your heart up with joy and devastate you with worry and fear?

This book reminded me that its important to stay in the moment when parenting. SO often I would find myself thinking "I can't wait until she's done doing this!" I couldn't wait until she stopped crying for four hours every night, I couldn't wait until she stopped grabbing and pulling my hair, I couldn't wait for her to stop picking up every little piece of dust she could find and shoving it in her mouth.

I also found myself looking to the future, thinking "I can't wait for her to crawl, I can't wait for her to walk. It'll be so great when she starts talking!"

The problem for me was, once she stopped crying for four hours a night, I realized she had stopped doing other things too that I missed so much. I missed the cute newborn grunts and the baby cry that sounded like a cat. I missed the way she'd stare into my eyes with her toothless mouth slightly open, looking so serious.

This book helped me to remember that I needed to stay in the now and soak up all of her in that moment: not spending too much time feeling sad about the days gone by nor dreaming of the future.

I loved the story he told of how his son came home from college but showed up eight hours late, when they were already in bed. He was mad that his son was late and if he wanted to, he could have ruined the moment that his son came running in to hug them in their bed. Instead he let his anger go and his expectations go and just accepted that this was what it was, and found himself enjoying that moment even more.

I think if you're into Buddhism at all, or you just want to read a book about how to get the most out of parenting psychologically, this book would be great for you.

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