by Krystle Hernandez

Created on: March 25, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

The obvious answer to this question is to keep cameras out of your house! Of course, there are a variety of different theories on why the breakup of America's Reality Sweethearts was "inevitable" but the truth is, marriage is difficult, no matter who you are. Although Jessica and Nick may have been under different circumstances than most newlyweds, their "problems" probably stemmed from the same roots. It is typical for newlyweds to experience a wide range of extreme emotions following their wedding. The merger of two lives legally, financially, physically, and emotionally can be tumultuous at best. Keep the following suggestions in mind to get the most out of your first year of marriage and avoid the path of Nick and Jess.

1. Have a solid friendship. Marriage is a partnership like any other. In order to succeed, both partners must commit to each other and to their marriage overall. Remember to enhance and protect your partner's self-esteem to the best of your abilities. This love and support will increase your bond to each other. Remember to make room for each other in your individual lives, and not to let quality couple time slide down on your list of priorities.

2. Forget the wedding, plan for your marriage. Now a day, would-be brides are spending thousands of dollars on perfecting ceremonies and personalizing everything from the cake topper to the toilet paper in the guest bathrooms. But choosing your wedding planner should be the least of your problems. In the months before your wedding, remember to stay focused on planning your marriage, i.e. the years following the "I now pronounce you husband and wife." Discuss who will be responsible for what, dividing household chores around you equally. Talk about your individual and joint finances and your long-term financial goals. Discussing these controversial issues beforehand will reduce the likelihood that you will argue about it later.

3. Communicate and fight fair. Hopefully, your in-depth discussions over your future as a married couple will enhance your ability to communicate with each other. Be honest with each other. If you have a problem, do not hesitate to turn toward your partner, and certainly do not turn away them to avoid a conflict. Learn to fight fair and avoid attacking each other when debating over an issue.

4. Be reasonable. There is certainly a change when two people begin a life together as partners. Embracing this change and the advantages and disadvantages that come with it is necessary for the success of your marriage. Understand that every story has many sides, and its your job to not only understand your partner's side to the best of your ability, but to express your side to him or her as well.

5. Be patient. If you're both marrying for the first time, expect some rocky times, confused emotions, and second-guesses. Try to keep in mind why you came together in the first place, and what you love and admire about each other. Remembering the reasons why we love someone is key in allowing us to continuing expressing that love. Be patient with yourself and your partner. Give each other ample space, time, and support through theses periods of readjustment. How you handle this change will set a precedent for how you handle every other change in your marriage as a couple. So, work hard!

No one can say what will guarantee a relationship's martial success. It is difficult to conceive of a perfect marriage when there are no perfect individuals. Marriage takes a lot of effort and determination, so remember that your results will reflect the amount of effort you put in.

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